The best concept albums not only tell a story through song, but actually transport you to a different world using only music. When done well, a film adaptation of one of these albums can crystallize its story in a way that’s unlike any other medium.
Remember the first time you saw Pink Floyd’s The Wall movie or The Who’s Tommy or Quadrophenia films? None of these are perfect films but they all possess certain sequences and scenes that become inextricable from the album they’re based on once watched. How can you not see the animated marching hammers from the film version of The Wall whenever you hear the song “Waiting for the Worms” off the album? You can’t.
The following is a list of brilliant concept albums that have yet to make it to the silver screen and how and why we should change that.
1. Rush’s 2112, Directed by J.J. Abrams
So how do you do this right? You get J.J. Abrams to stop wasting his time making the next Star Wars movie and instead devote himself to a sci-fi franchise that actually has a future by turning this nerd rock, virgin-core, (At the height of their Rush fandom many Rush devotees choose to take a vow of abstinence. That’s right, choose to! Sniff….shut up…) prog masterpiece, Ayn Rand lover letter into the blockbuster it was born to be.
This could be hands down the most lens flare riddled, high pitched vocal laden, precise drum fill havenist sci-fi movie ever attempted. Bonus cool idea: get the actual guys in Rush to cameo in the 2112 movie themselves and provide some comedy relief.
Seriously, these guys can be real cutups, especially guitarist Alex Lifeson. I can just picture him, Geddy and even grumblebum Peart as the bumbling and dismissive Priests of Syrinx. It’d be unexpected having the band play the villains who despise rock and roll, and who urge the hero to give it up and instead go watch “Templevision.”
“Templevision”….Rush fans choose to be abstinent…choose to!
2. Mastodon’s Crack The Skye, Directed by Darren Aronofsky
Because when you’re attempting to approximate the brutal but beautiful aesthetic of Mastodon’s fourth record the go to guy for this kind of bizarre mediation on loss and isolation is Aronofsky. Look at the director’s track record: Pi, Requiem for a Dream, The Fountain, Black Swan. He’s like the David Lynch that actually has a point to make. Who better than him to make sense of the far reaching, genre bleeding, brain grenade that is this concept album?
Crack The Skye is the story of a young paraplegic boy who astral projects from his body through the cosmos but is then sucked through a wormhole and transported, eventually, into Rasputin’s body by a Russian cult (of course he is, because…metal) and once Rasputin attempts to overthrow the Czar and is murdered, Rasputin’s spirit guides the soul of the paraplegic boy back to his body. Oh, and the devil shows up at some point (also because…metal) and tempts ol’ Ras and the boy from getting their stuff done.
You can see why we can’t have some dork like Michael Bay or Zack Snyder trying to hack their way through such a wonderfully oblique and whackadoo plot like this. Also I’m thinking Christian Bale as Rasputin. The guy has cheekbones for days, and even with Rasputin’s Soundgarden roadie beard those cheekbones will still cut through making him look all wizard sexy. And with a movie based on a sludge-metal, prog spazzfest like Crack The Skye you’re going to need a little wizard sexy.
3. Deltron 3030, Directed by Spike Jonze
This groundbreaking hip-hopera from the minds of Del the Funky Homosapien and Dan The Automator deserves a visionary director who can blend the quirky with the grandiose. Jonze has demonstrated with early work like Adaptation and Being John Malkovich that he knows exactly how to blend the wry with the understatedly lachrymose.
4. The Flaming Lips’ Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots, Directed by Guillermo del Toro
Because dude knows from giant robots. Did you see Pacific Rim? But more importantly he’s a director who can capture the fantastic and unsettling but also adventurous and pop art feel that the Lips realize so effortlessly on this record. Del Toro is the only one who can turn this chunk of friendly freak-out ear candy into the live action, heartbreaking anime film we’ve always pictured with our eyes shut and our headphones on.
5. Genesis’ The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway, Directed by Michel Gondry
So for the film version of Genesis’ last album with frontman Peter Gabriel I say let’s go real meta crazy and cast Phil Collins as the main character Rael but retain all the vocal parts sung by Gabriel. If this doesn’t make the college kids who still listen to early Genesis froth at their retainers then we’ll also have Peter Gabriel play the character of John, that Rael (Collins), is searching for. And for some reason Peter Gabriel will have to fight through the monstrous caricature muppets of the band themselves (including the dreaded Phil Collins muppet) that were used in the music video for Genesis’ “Land Of Confusion.”
I’m not saying any of this is really a great idea but to level with you I’ve never even listened to The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway. I like concept albums just fine but it just sounds like too much of a concept album, right? Sometimes I’d just rather listen to old Van Halen: songs about sex, drugs and rock and roll, what a concept.
